What you should know before you move in with your partner
By: Jennifer Seip, LMFT, MA
Hey everyone! I’m really excited to share with you that I am going to start doing video’s (yay!) It’s really important to me that you have a place to go and learn correct information about all things relationships. So today I’m going to go over 4 MUST ASK QUESTIONS before moving in with your partner.
…and in no particular order ↓
How flexible are you are your partner?
No, I don’t mean the stretching kind. I mean what is your partner’s capacity to change especially under difficult circumstances. When you move in together, no doubt you are going to encounter situations that call for compromise. How much do you think you will be able to change for the relationship in these circumstances? If you and your partner are really different, this is definitely a question you’ll want to consider. However, if you are someone who is stubborn, that’s okay too but, you might want to consider being with someone who is more similar to you than different.
How does your partner handle stress?
Again, once you move in together you are going to encounter difficult situations. How you and your partner handle stress is really important because you want to make sure you can support him/her/them when they need you. Ask your partner, “what are your coping skills when you are overwhelmed and how can I support you?”
What are your future plans?
I know I said you won’t find these questions in a magazine, but this one you might. It’s SO important though! Of course you want to make sure that you want the same things for your future. If you don’t again that might be okay for right now, but if it’s not then you have some more things to talk about.
What’s your communication style?
This last question is sort of a wrap up from questions one and two. The reason why you want to talk about communication styles is because you want to know how you’re going to handle situations when you disagree or when one of you is feeling overwhelmed or even angry. Most couples don’t go into a relationship with the same exact style and that’s okay. What are you going to do about that? Will you see a therapist? Or will you talk about how each of you can change so that you can move closer together instead of further apart?
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