Have you ever heard of emotional intelligence?
Just like everything in life, your relationships take skill and knowledge to work. If you’re not well-equipped, you can quickly run into difficulties and maintaining healthy relationships will be tough!
One of the most important skills to learn and understand is emotional intelligence. For relationships, from romantic connections to parenting, it’s absolutely essential and a key part of expressing yourself and understanding others.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is all about understanding and managing your emotions. If you can’t do this, situations can quickly get out of control. Small arguments turn into massive ones, or tiny thoughts become overwhelming. Whereas, if you work on your emotional intelligence you can communicate, empathize, and overcome conflict much easier. This prevents your emotions from getting the better of you.
Simply put, emotional intelligence is having control over your reactions in situations (like staying calm under stress), and understand the emotions of others, too. It’s about control, empathy, and understanding.
If you don’t think you have a good grasp on emotional intelligence, don’t worry; you’re definitely not alone! Most people struggle to deal with their emotions from time to time, but if it’s starting to affect your relationships you should pay attention.
How to Monitor Your Own Emotional Intelligence
If you often feel like your emotions control you and not the other way around, you’re probably struggling with emotional intelligence. Some common labels given to people who aren’t in full control of their emotions include sensitive, hot-headed, and – surprise, surprise! – emotional. Being in touch with your feelings definitely isn’t a bad thing, but letting them run away and spiral isn’t quite as good.
There are a number of ways you can assess your EQ. For example, look at how you observe people; do you rush to judgements or stereotype, or are you better at putting aside prejudice and empathizing with their situation? You should also look at how you behave in arguments and whether you can stay level or whether you quickly anger or tend to lash out.
If you’re quick to become stressed, struggle to take responsibility for your actions, and worry frequently, these are all signs that you might be lacking in EQ. But, try not to panic! There are ways to improve your emotional control and understanding that will be covered later.
The Benefits of Emotional Intelligence
The Benefits of Emotional IntelligenceThere are so many ways that emotional intelligence affects your life, and a good grasp of EQ comes with a whole heap of benefits! Take a look at just some of the areas that can be improved:
- Work or school performance – EQ can help you navigate your workspace, inspire others, stay motivated, and excel in your career or studies
- Your physical health – Stress is known for causing serious health problems and being unable to control your stress levels could start damaging your physical health
- Mental health – Uncontrollable emotions are tough to handle and can take a toll on your mental health, and an inability to connect with others could leave you feeling lonely and isolated
- Your social life – If you can’t connect emotionally with others then your social life is going to take a hit, and you may struggle to feel happy around others
When you start to look, the importance of EQ is everywhere! Being able to control your emotions is a skill that isn’t just beneficial, but is actually necessary. This is never as true as when looking at relationships.
How Relationships Can Improve With Emotional Intelligence
Relationships are hard on their own. On top of that, if you add in a lack of emotional intelligence they become a minefield of arguments and disconnect. No matter how much relationship advice you follow, if you don’t have emotional intelligence, it’s always going to be hard to create and maintain healthy relationships. But, by building yours up, you could find relationships a lot easier to manage. Moreover, with those that you do have can thrive on healthy, happy foundations.
EQ in relationships leads to more sensitivity, letting you understand and feel empathy for the other person which is essential to reducing conflict. Empathy often goes hand in hand with growing and maturing, but building your EQ can help you get there faster. Emotional intelligence will promote deep intimacy, commitment, and mutual kindness, all of which are essential to a functioning relationship.
Negative emotions are often the downfall of relationships, like jealousy and anger. While EQ might not eradicate these feelings, it allows you to confront them and control them. It helps you to let them go rather than take them out on your partner. Arguments will become less heated and less frequent, and you’ll both become better at expressing emotions without negative reactions.
Improving Your Emotional Intelligence
If you’re looking to improve your emotional intelligence, therapy is incredible. Marriage therapy (or couples therapy), for example, will help you understand the roots of your feelings and give you coping mechanisms for how to deal with them together. There are also plenty of books and online resources that can help.
Remember, improving your EQ can take time and often you’ll only achieve full emotional intelligence when you reach a certain maturity level. But, the sooner you start the sooner you’ll get there, and you should be able to see results quickly!
Start Relationship Therapy
People who struggle with emotional intelligence often find building healthy, connected relationships difficult. If you struggle with this and are finding it affecting your life, speak to someone who can help and start working to understand your emotions. Learn to take back control so that you can live the life you want.
Our team at Be Well Therapy Group are trained, professional relationship therapists. We can help you deal with past trauma, dive deep into your emotions, and come out the other side a happier human! Get in touch with us to find out more today or to book a
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