Studies show that 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. If you’re looking at relationships in general, the breakup rate is much higher.
In some cases, the people in the relationship shouldn’t be together, and breaking up is a good thing. However, there are tons of couples that could be truly happy and content if they only learned how to work through their issues.
The problem is, most people don’t know how to communicate effectively and fairly. This is where couples therapy comes in. It can open a door to reconciliation.
But can couples therapy save a relationship? Absolutely, it can.
If you and your partner are struggling to get along, keep reading for everything you need to know about how couples counseling can help.
Get On the Same Team With Your Partner
Let’s make one thing clear from the start. When going to a couples counselor, you’re not the client, you and your partner together are the client.
Many people walk into couples therapy thinking that they’re going to gain an ally, someone to side with them. However, a therapist’s job isn’t to take sides, it’s to provide tools and guidance for couples to resolve their issues.
Are they a mediator? Yes, and they will point out when someone is being selfish or unfair. However, that doesn’t mean they’re there to side with you or your partner.
If you’re investing in couples therapy, approach each session as an opportunity to team up with your significant other, and reignite your partnership.
Learn Self-Awareness and Become Open to Growth
A high level of self-awareness is vital in any successful relationship – intimate, professional, or otherwise. We must know how we come off to people. We must also be aware of our own faults.
A couples therapist can help each partner become more aware of their own negative habits, actions, and thought patterns. Many fights, for example, occur because someone takes an innocent comment personally. On the flip side, other fights begin because a partner is being insensitive.
Learn How to Communicate With One Another
Poor communication is one of the leading causes of all fights, breakups, and divorces. Humans are the most evolved species on the planet, capable of communicating thoughts, feelings, and emotions clearly. Yet, many of us rarely do.
We are either too shy, proud, stubborn, or self-pitying to say how we feel. You must be able to speak your truth, rather than assuming your partner is a mind-reader. They may get a feeling that you’re upset, but they can’t know unless you tell them.
The other side of this coin is being a good listener. People need to feel comfortable opening up to their partner in a relationship. If they’re punished every time they share their feelings, they’ll close up and become resentful.
Couples therapy will teach you and your partner how to effectively communicate and listen to one another.
Learn How to Fight Fairly
Couples counseling is a good solution for people who tend to get into explosive arguments or long stand-offs. Many couples break up because they never teach themselves how to fight fairly.
As conflicts escalate, people become more aggressive. They start using harsher language and being less concerned with how the other person is feeling.
People also tend to become manipulative and passive-aggressive. Another common tactic is trying to make the other person feel guilty.
Marriage counseling or couples therapy gives you and your partner the tools to fight more fairly. Fighting and arguing responsible will lead to conflict resolution, rather than more conflict.
This means not interrupting one another, not being inflammatory, and being able to admit when you’re wrong.
Learn to Speak Each Other’s Love Language
People often wonder what to talk about in therapy.
A common issue in long-term relationships is the eventual ebb of perceived love and affection, both physical and emotional. We feel like we’re not being taken care of as if our partner no longer speaks our “love language.”
However, everyone’s love language is different. Couples therapy teaches people how to recognize, read, and speak their partner’s love language.
For example, most men crave respect and admiration. Whereas, most women desire romance and physical affection.
Some people appreciate small, thoughtful gifts. Others crave acts of kindness.
Use couples counseling to better understand what makes your partner feel loved and appreciated. Just as importantly, help them understand your love language.
Learn How to Compromise and Make Positive Changes
No matter what type of couple you are, you’ll need to learn the art of compromise if you intend to find happiness. No two people can form a long-lasting, committed relationship without making small changes.
You shouldn’t change who you are on a fundamental level, but you should make concessions if it’s for the betterment of your relationship. For example, if you love playing video games, that’s okay. However, if you’re playing video games so much that your spouse is feeling neglected, that’s something you can compromise on.
Couples therapy is all about identifying the patterns and habits that are obstructing the success of your relationship. Then, working with the counselor, you and your partner can figure out fair and effective compromises.
It’s important to note that if only one partner is making compromises or changes, something isn’t right. Both people need to invest equally in the overall happiness and balance in the relationship.
Learn How to Rekindle Intimacy and Affection
Finally, as noted earlier, the longer some couples stay together, the less affectionate they are with one another. It starts slowly but can end disastrously.
Couples therapy can help you and your partner rekindle the physical affection and romance you once had. It’s all about making an effort, on both sides.
Couples counseling can open the door to a new discussion about intimacy. This pertains to the bedroom and your sexual relationship, yes, but there’s more to it than that.
Physical affection and intimacy also include things like massages, hugging, kissing, cuddling, and all the other types of physical connection we crave from our partner. A couples therapist can help you and your partner rediscover that part of your relationship.
Do You Think Couples Therapy Can Help Your Relationship?
There is absolutely no shame in going to couples therapy. It doesn’t mean you and your partner are failing or that you’re weak.
In fact, it means the opposite. Seeking couples counseling shows that you and your partner are willing to fight for what you have. It means you’re not people who simply throw in the towel when things get tough – it’s admirable.
If you think your relationship can benefit from couples therapy, book an appointment today. Let’s talk about how we can get you and your partner on the same page so your relationship can flourish.
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